Typical behavioral patterns and problems (Babies, First year)

Initially, babies are totally dependent on you and rely on you to meet their every need. Your baby will be happiest if you respond sensitively and can calm him when he is upset. This includes making sure that he is comfortable, not only physically ( warm, clean, fed, and winded ) but also emotionally.

Babies need comfort, reassurance and emotional stability, especially when things don't feel right. You can provide this by cuddling your baby, speaking to him in a gentle voice or singing to him and distracting him from upsets by walking him around and showing him interesting surroundings. Babies need the right level of stimulation: not too much excitement, yet enough stimulation to enable them to learn, and you can work this out by observing, listening and taking your cues from your child.

Normal emotional development and behavior in Children.

It is helpful to have an idea of how your child's behavior may change as he or she develops, so that you can recognize what is normal and when you should be concerned.

Many types of normal behavior can be problematic, and your tolerance levels for these may vary more with your mood than with the child's behavior itself. A good understanding of normal difficult behavior can help you respond appropriately and more sensitively to your child at the time when he needs you most.

Children are not all the same. All children vary and develop in their own way. Your child may be difficult from his peers, but whether he is considered normal will depend on the expectations of those around him. A typical "geek" or "bookworm" may be bullied in a non-academic environment or highly valued in an intellectual one. A child who is more interested in football than work may be seen as a hero in a local community, even if he cant sit still in class, and yet would be deemed a failure in a strict academic school or family.

HOW I CAN HELP YOU : The ABC's Of STI Prevention

By Dr Sanmi Obajuluwa

Continuation.......

Before I mailed the finished version of this article to the editors, i ran it past a little "cohort" study of mine, just to get a feel of what the response would be. I was completely amazed by the feedback i got. The lack of awareness was staggering!

Initially it was a topic of jest, but as the discussion progressed it became apparent that not enough of the sexually active population or demographic are well informed about STIs. People tend to give funny faces and reactions when you try to talk about sex or STIs, maybe it is because they are uncomfortable, then again they could just be plain unhappy that they are being warned to keep away from their favourite past time. "Hence is ignorance bliss?"

"No!" Ignorance is not bliss, ignorance is living with that sore, itch, discharge, painful swelling or annoying smell that just wont go away. "Knowledge is freedom". Let us take a look at a few more bugs on our list ...

“HOW MAY I HELP YOU”

A Mini series. by Dr Sanmi Obajuluwa

“HOW MAY I HELP YOU”

When I first started writing this article all I could think about was a particular patient I had  once seen, while I was still a house officer (must have been during the numerous but annoying O.M.O calls). Though there is a lot of noise about patient confidentiality, but since this is in the spirit of “world peace”, a little divulging wouldn’t do any harm.

So this middle aged man comes into the consulting room, seeming apparently well on inspection except for the peculiar “confused look” he had on his face. I motion for him to sit and asked “how may I help you...?”

He replies “Doctor! I have this headache…, it’s always there, on the right side….. sometimes I don’t feel it, other times it comes to my eye.”

I asked if he noticed anything that made the headache worse or better and he just shook his head. I went on to ask about other possible related symptoms such as fever, nausea, vomiting, stools, all of which were negative. I asked further questions, all to which he just responded “No!” He seemed almost at the brink of annoyance.

Finally I asked “how is your urination, any pain?” And all of a sudden he springs to life and goes “Ehen doctor! That’s my major problem”.

All I could do was to keep as straight a face as possible, but deep down, I was literarily “shaking my head and kissing my teeth”.

Finally, I was able to make headway, he later opened up about having numerous partners. He was treated for an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) and asked to run some tests.

I am sure you are reading and wondering what the moral behind this story is, well simply put, if you have an “itch” just say say so, don’t tell the doctor your skin is red.

STIs are a common complaint in any OPD, patients would be surprised by the numbers. If you have sex, you may also have an STI, with subtle or noticeable STI symptoms. Straight or gay, married or single, you're vulnerable to STIs and STIsymptoms, whether you engage in oral, anal or vaginal sex.

 The disturbing part is not the rising number of STIs, but rather because people are un aware that they are carriers and infect their partners or give poor information leading to inadequate treatment and emergence of drug resistant bugs.

This write up aims to throw light on some of the more common STIs such as gonorrhea, syphilis, Chlamydia, genital warts, genital herpes, trichomoniasis and HIV.

Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea is that STD that just won’t go away -- it remains the second most commonly reported infectious disease worldwide. Though, actual figures could be double because of poor medical records and reluctance of patients to come forward. Gonorrhea is a bacterial infection of the genital tract. First symptoms generally appear within two to 10 days after exposure. However, some people may be infected for months before signs or symptoms occur. Signs and symptoms of gonorrhea may include:

• Thick, cloudy or bloody discharge from the penis or vagina
• Pain or burning sensation when urinating
• Abnormal menstrual bleeding
• Painful, swollen testicles
• Painful bowel movements
• Anal itching

 Untreated, gonorrhea can lead to epididymitis, a painful condition of the testicles that can cause infertility. In women, gonorrhea is a major cause of pelvic inflammatory disease and, like chlamydia, can lead to infertility. Having a case of gonorrhea makes you three to five times more likely to acquire HIV if you’re exposed to the HIV virus.

Gonorrhea can be treated with antibiotics. But there has been a rise in drug-resistant strains. As a result, the treatment options are becoming more limited than in the past -- one more good reason to avoid this “bad guy”.

To be Cotinued.....

What to do in case of rape - From Project Alert

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: What to do in case of rape - From Project Alert: Recently, Project Alert, a non-governmental women's rights organization, has been getting calls from people all over Nigeria report...

The Mystery of a woman

Short Note.....

There have been controversy as to the different types of orgasms a woman can have, with a suggestion that orgasms achieved through vaginal penetration only are more matured than clitoral orgasms.

Surveys have revealed, however, that most women are unable to have an orgasms without some clitoral stimulation before or during intercourse. It now appears that the female orgasms originates from the clitoris whether it is directly stimulated (by stroking or kissing) or by indirect stimulation (by penile thrusting).

Compatibility

Many sexual problems arise because of a couples different rates and patterns of response, or ability to respond at all. If a man is unable to become aroused and erect, his partner feels sexually frustrated, unattractive and rejected. If a woman is sexually disinterested, she may avoid sex, or complain that it is painful because she is not sufficiently aroused. Her partner may be at a loss to excite her and feel like a failure.

THE PREGNANT VIRGIN

My school mother, Dr Omas who was doing her housemanship at the time had re-called a story to me, then in my fourth year, she had made clinical year absorbable and easy for me as she handed down her methods to me and believe me, they worked.

This particular story was one hell of a fascinator to me and i am almost convinced it will teach you something or more.

QUESTIONS

Hello People,

We all have questions at most intervals of our lives, things we find amusing, frightening, funny, confusing and so on.

In no particular order,
Feel free to answer any questions too.


1. Do you know what you want?

2. Why is it easier to make generous donations to get more recognition than help those who actually need REAL help?

3. Is it cheaper to buy buckets of champagne and Hennessy etc for people who would excrete it in 24hours than pay the school fees of your gateman's only child who sells corn or other things in traffic?

4. Why do we lie?

5. Why is it easier to buy expensive gifts for people who might not notice or appreciate it,  than pay your staff their hard earned salaries in good time or at all?

6. What makes you happy? do you know?

7. When you look in the mirror, who do you see? a monster or a saint or a mixture of both?

8. Why are the roads to our villages horrible yet the states get millions - billions?

9. Have you tried to reach out to people who need help around you?

10. Do you need help? Are you true to yourself?

11. When you show off, who do you think is more exposed to detriments?

12. Is it cheaper to buy 3 buckets of iced up champaign, Hennessy and Vodka things than fixing the road to your own house?

13. Is it also cheaper to run a generator for 7days straight than getting your area properly lined with Nepa or what do we call them these days? Did you know, not all Nigerians have experienced electricity?

14. Why is it easier to complain from your house like every other person when you can take 1 step at a time to make your own environment better?

15. When you sleep, what happens? do you know?

16. How grateful have you been for the privilege of seeing yet another day?

17. Do you enjoy complaining?

18. What can you do? What would you do? Go with the repetitive complains or fix your home for starters?

19. When you say you are a citizen and you see a helpless citizen, can you help a little? What makes you different from the people you castigate?

20. Do you waste food?

21. Will you exercise your civil rights to vote?

22. Do you classify yourself a honest Nigerian?

23. Can you start loving yourself enough?

24. Would you stand up for what you believe is right even if you feel like you are standing alone?

25. Attempt all questions? 100 Marks  lol

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

THE ROLE OF THE SOCIETY

Parents and families could reject a child. Fortunately, the society is not known to reject babies. In fact, when given a chance, a good society takes over the responsibility of taking good care of rejected and abandoned children. It therefore turns out that abandoned babies are part of the problems of the society. Thus it is the role of the society to reduce the occurrence of this malady, and seek for a good solution if it occurs.

The unit of any society is the family. It follows that the role of the family in the survival and rearing of children cannot be overemphasized. The care of the unwanted baby has much more to be resolved as they pose peculiar immediate and remote problems.

THE UNWANTED CHILD cont.....

If unwanted babies are sick, and they often do for deliberate lack of care, their ‘departure’' from the world is usually imminent. Some of those who defile the pang of early death usually run the risk of being deliberately injured (battered) in an attempt to make there death look accidental.

  A woman once brought her sick 2 weeks old baby to the hospital. The child allegedly fell down from the bed and sustained some injuries. On examination, the child was found to have disproportionate and unusual injuries, which are out of tune with injuries expected from such a fall.

  History latter revealed that the child was hardly attended to in the first week of life. He was abandoned for 3 days to the care of the husband who ensured his survival. Now there is this discovery of his unusual injury. This is just another case of ‘battered baby’s syndrome’. That is, the injuries were deliberately inflicted to create a suitable forum for a cause of the death of the child, being blamed on simple accident. Without a background history, the seemingly sympathetic outlook and pose of the mother would probably have been mistaken for a true concern for the health of the child.

  The unwanted child who escaped being aborted is prone to battering, mental and physical stress, and destruction.   

THE UNWANTED CHILD

Howdy people,

This piece was sent to me by Col. Dr  Adamolekun O.S.B, a consultant Orthopedic surgeon in Sudan. I learnt a lot from this piece and thought to share. (oh, by the way he's my dad)

THE UNWANTED CHILD

  The unwanted child is a child whose pregnancy, delivery or continued existence is not welcomed by one or both of the parents. Though the pregnancy may be planned, on many occasions it is by accident. This social category of children is in a class of its own, and so requires a more detailed attention. This is because unlike the accepted child, they lack parental love. The life history of the unwanted child is unfortunately usually turbulent, and on many occasions plagued with an unpleasant and sad outcome.

  

The rejection of an unwanted child is particularly grave if both parents and families are involved in the rejection. The effect is particularly profound on the baby because he is defenceless and cannot speak.

Adventures of Tintin

Howdy people,

This last week in the hospital has been quite an experience, it feels like the longest week ever. Presently running the GOPD (out-patient) clinic for the Family Medicine Department and its been a handful, brings us back to the whole " we need more doctors employed na" .

So, sometime last week my surgery SMO (senior medical officer) called me "adventures of tin tin " and smiled in some kind of ..... i cant place the smile. I just thought to myself " has he been smoking something" smiled back and moved on. To be continued...........

The HIV preventive drug.

New HIV preventive drug gets FDA approvalhttp://healthland.time.com/2012/07/17/truvada-5-things-to-know-about-the-first-drug-to-prevent-hiv/?iid=hl-main-lede

Unimaginable............ but true

People often wonder what goes through the minds of doctors,
most kids would rather cry in the arms of their mothers than let a doctor poke them with a tiny needle that can make them feel better. Irony

The thing is, that satisfaction most doctors feel when a patient comes into the A&E hanging on a thin thread of life and needs your help. You feel empathy, you feel responsible for that person's life irregardless of who this individual is and you start to do all you can and all you know best. Eventually, right before your eyes after close monitoring, the patient starts to breathe, he/she starts to feel better, you notice actual healing, God showed up and used your fragile hands..... priceless

OTUKPO . . . . . THE TEXAS TALE 2. . . . . .

QUICK MEDICAL CONSULT IN COLLABORATION WITH THE GLOBAL INITIATIVE FOR PEACE LOVE & CARE (GIPLC)ON BEHALF OF THE SENATE PRESIDENT, MOST DISTINGUISHED DAVID A.B. MARK GCON,ON A PUBLIC HEALTH CAMPAIGN TO DE-WORM CHILDREN OF PRIMARY SCHOOL AGE (FREE OF CHARGE) WITHIN BENUE SOUTH SENATORIAL DISTRICT. 21th-26^th July 2011.

OTUKPO..... THE TEXAS TALE....

QUICK MEDICAL CONSULT IN COLLABORATION WITH THE GLOBAL INITIATIVE FOR PEACE LOVE & CARE (GIPLC)ON BEHALF OF THE SENATE PRESIDENT, MOST DISTINGUISHED DAVID A.B. MARK GCON, EMBARKED ON A PUBLIC HEALTH CAMPAIGN TO DE-WORM CHILDREN OF PRIMARY SCHOOL AGE (FREE OF CHARGE) WITHIN BENUE SOUTH SENATORIAL DISTRICT.

INFECTIOUS DISEASES

Hello people, yesterday I wrote about non-infectious diseases and sicknesses that are easily confused. Today ill continue with the infectious diseases and sicknesses.

Bacteria and other organisms that harm the body cause infectious diseases. They are spread in many ways.

Here are some of the most important kinds of organisms that cause infections and examples of sicknesses they cause.

Bacteria, like many of the organisms that cause infection are so small and cannot be seen without a microscope and the viruses are even way smaller than the bacteria.

SICKNESSES THAT ARE OFTEN CONFUSED

WHAT CAUSES SICKNESS?

Good question, people from different countries or backgrounds hence the  different ways to explain what causes sickness.

A baby gets diarrhea. But why?
 People in small villages may say it is because the parents did something wrong, or perhaps because they made a god or spirit angry.

A Doctor may say it is because the child has an infection.

A public health officer may say it is because the villagers do not have a good water system or use latrines.

THE AGONIES OF TOOTHACHE

Have you ever had tooth ache? hmmmmmmn the thing is, if you have never experienced tooth ache before, it can never be explained to you. The same goes for those who have experienced labor pains before, it can never be explained to you. I wish i could describe this excruciating pain but........

This story started last year april when i was at the Obafemi Awolowo university Ile-ife for the Nigerian Medical council examination, i had just bought a chicken burger from Mr Biggs and headed back to my hotel room. It had been a long day and all i could think of was a warm bath and my chicken burger.

THE CARE OF A SICK PERSON WHEN THERE'S NO DOCTOR

                                           THE CARE OF A SICK PERSON

                                           WHEN THERE'S NO DOCTOR.

The care of a sick person is one of the easiest thing that can be done by anyone when or if the need be.

This topic is one of my favorites from a book called “where there is no doctor”.

Sickness weakens the body. To gain strength and get well quickly, special care is needed. The care a sick person receives is frequently the most important part of his treatment.

ARE YOU HYPERTENSIVE?

Hello people, its been a long while, forgive my laziness.

I do have a couple of things to discuss in the next few days, weeks, months and even years so i suggest you strap up your seat belts because we are going on this ride together.


Hypertension is a sensitive topic as it is one of the major killers of our time. Most people cringe at the topic and most just take it likely. In my humble opinion however, i suggest we take hypertension (AKA High blood pressure) very serious.

ANXIETY DISORDERS

Anxiety is a distressing, unpleasant emotional state of nervousness and uneasiness; its causes are less clear. Anxiety is less tied to the exact timing of a threat; it can be anticipatory before a threat, persist after a threat has passed, or occur without an identifiable threat. 

Anxiety is often accompanied by physical changes and behaviors similar to those caused by fear.Some degree of anxiety is adaptive; it can help people prepare, practice, and rehearse so that their functioning is improved and can help them be appropriately cautious in potentially dangerous situations. 

THE CARE OF THE PRICELESS DIAMOND

Having a blast one of those nights at a popular night club called "reloaded" with friends and my bladder became unbearably full, i ran to the bathroom and there was this mad queue. I waited patiently as the lady before me rushed in, i was zoo scared of the state of the bathroom but somethings gotta give so i just did the sign of the cross and waited.

THE CRISIS

My heart feels cold, numb with emotions when i see patients who suffer from the SICKLE CELL ANAEMIA CRISIS. The pain they go through is unexplainable and unimaginable, their cries hit every nerve in my body and i wonder why these things happen.


I was in the Pediatrics wards the other day and i saw a 7 year old boy who was so irritable and in so much pain, he wouldn't even let us touch him. His mother was rolling in silent tears as she didn't want to let him know she was broken by his pain and tears.

ACCIDENTAL POISONING IN CHILDREN

I often wonder if it was the same God that watched over adults that watched over kids and to my surprise it’s the same big God. Children seem to get away with a lot of accidents especially when they put all sorts of things in their mouth.

In primary school, kids would put lead (from pencils) on biscuit and eat it and nothing would happen, some kids would play with sand and even eat some sand and nothing would happen. Have you ever tried to do same as an adult? Yea, I thought so.....

PREVENTION OF CERVICAL CANCER

The cervix is part of a woman's reproductive system. It's in the pelvis. The cervix is the lower, narrow part of the uterus (womb). The cervix connects the uterus to the vagina. During a menstrual period, blood flows from the uterus through the cervix into the vagina. The vagina leads to the outside of the body.

ACCIDENTS AND EMERGENCIES 101

Welcome to A&E 101.
The accident and emergency  ward is the most important ward in the hospital. "first bus-stop when a patient arrives"

QUESTION
A 27 year old man was rushed into the A&E, he was involved in a RTA (road traffic accident), patient presented with bleeding to the left ear and a swollen left thigh and was semi-conscious.

Discuss the management of this patient.

MANAGEMENT
This is an emergency and the patient should be attended to immediately.
1.The basic ABC's (Airways, breathing and circulation)
2. A Glasgow coma scale should be performed immediately.
3. Check the blood pressure and control bleeding.
4. Set up an intravenous line infusing normal saline to avoid shock.
5. Set up another vein and take blood for baseline investigations ( full blood count, blood grouping and cross matching, packed cell volume, electrolyte/urea/creatinine, RVS (retro-viral screening) and urinalysis)
6. Insert a urinary catheter if the patient is unconscious
7. Specific investigations should be carried out. ( an X-ray of the head and neck(CT scan preferably), AP and Lateral x-ray of the left femur, x-ray of the hip joint)
8. Send an emergency consult to the surgical team.
9. Examine the 2 ears, examining from the right to the left.
10. Send an emergency consult to the ENT team (Ear, Nose and throat specialists)
11.When the patient is stabilized, take a good history from relatives or from him, Past medical history, drug history and allergies.

Thats all for now folks............
To be continued...
errrr, any questions????
cc @bumight @eneni @sexxydoc @docmurffy @ezzieb

REALITY CHECK ---- THE REAPER

For death is but a passing phase of Life;

A change of dress, a disrobing;

A birth into the unborn again;

A commencing where we ended;

A starting where we stopped to rest;

A crossroad of Eternity;

A giving up of something, to possess all things.

The end of the unreal, the beginning of the real.

EDWIN LEIBFREED, "The Song of the Soul"

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit,

 every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows".

There is a time to be born and a time to die, just as Ecclesiastes said in his 3rd chapter in the holy bible and the characteristics of human beings "MR NIGER D " as we were taught in school, every living thing must die.

Those who think about death, carrying with them their existing ideas and emotions, usually assume that they will have, during their last hours, ideas and emotions of like vividness ... but they do not fully recognize the implication that the feeling faculty, too, is almost gone. The imagine the state to be one in which they can have emotions such as they now have on contemplating the cessation of life. But at the last all the mental powers simultaneously ebb, as do the bodily powers, and with them goes the capacity for emotion in general. It is, indeed, possible that in its last stages consciousness is occupied by a not displeasurable sense of rest.

It seems a strange and repugnant conclusion that with the cessation of consciousness at death, there ceases to be any knowledge of having existed. With his last breath it becomes to each the same thing as though he had never lived. And then the consciousness itself -- what is it during the time that it continues? And what becomes of it when it ends? We can only infer that it is a specialized and individualized form of that Infinite and Eternal Energy which transcends both our knowledge and our imagination; and that at death its elements lapse into the Infinite and Eternal Energy whence they were derived.

Death, is the reality we all run away from, it is inevitable and does not need to give a notice. What we do with our lives however is important. "live, love and learn" like my friend says "Ayanyinka Ayanlowo AKA Ayanyanks" Enjoy each moment and cherish them like treasures because you only have one life to live. Smile all you want, laugh all you can, do all the things that make you happy. The impact you have on the lives around you are but memories and they always linger. 

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.Have the courage to live, anyone can die. Though difficult, try not to sleep with pain, hate and disdain in your heart. Dont hesitate to show love to everyone around you, tell your friends and family how much you appreciate them because they need to know. it is painful if you loved someone dearly and you never got the chance to tell them when they were alive. I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday evening and he said "you better appreciate me now that i am alive o" i thought deeply and said to myself "this is the truth and reality"  

Finally, it is important to understand what grief is all about, and how to grief without hurting other people in the process. Grief is an important part of life just like death is. Grief is hard, it can be broken down into different stages and phases, the shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, reflection and loneliness, the up-ward turn, reconstruction and working through and finally, acceptance and hope. 

Have a blessed day......

STOMACH ON THE RUN

Here i was, packing up and getting ready to round up my stay in Ile-ife, i stopped for some strange reason and decided on reading a few more topics in my obstetrics and gynecology notes. My belly starts to sing to my brain in a very unharmonious tune "hunger, e no get enemy o" i ignored this rantings and thought to read some more....

A knock came on my door and i was hesitant. In my head i thought, "who the hell is that right now? mscheeeew" oh it was my brother and he said "sis, u already packing up for lagos?" "yes o, as soon as we done with this exams am howdy".

Another knock came on the door and now i was confused, "who's at the door"i called out and then he says "Dr Moyo" and then i'm seriously wondering why he is visiting and who told him i lived here. He walks in with all the pride he must have and sits on my bed uninvited and there, my day was already going funny on me. i tried to be as nice as i could (cos i was obviously not in the entertaining mood) and asked if he wanted a drink.

I opened a bottle of red wine and handed him a glass. My brother and i shared a second glass simultaneously. We discussed topics and then Lagos parties (hmmmmn i didn't know he had it in him because i had perceived him to be some sort of geek and i wonder why. Maybe because he wore very funny looking recommended glasses).

The hunger song began again and this time we were talking about gastro-enteritis. My brother asked if i had eaten all day and i said no, my colleague immediately suggested "BUKA"( a place on the main campus i had heard about but never eaten from). I was glad they offered to bring me food but i was skeptical about the location, he persuaded me to try it out that it was wonderful and i finally succumbed and yes, they set out.

I was sincerely glad i was alone in my room again and continued some more reading while listening to music alongside, waiting for my food too. some hours later, they showed up, with 2 extra colleagues of ours and my steamy-hot food of fried-rice, jollof rice and fish. I could not eat it right away so we all laughed at funny jokes and revised some topics together and it was fun.

Finally, they all left and i loved the quiet once again. I took a nice shower and decided it was time to eat. Opening the food didn't give me much of an appetite but i knew i had to eat so i took some spoons and had a bottle of coke. I kept what was left of my meal and glanced through some more pages.

It was time to sleep, so i put up some tweets and decided to watch a movie on my laptop when it started, my stomach put up a worse tune "ojia, you have killed me o, O ti pa mi o "and i thought to myself, "this don't feel right"

I raced off to the toilet immediately, trying so hard to take a shit, but it just won't come. i had some water and some more water and tried so hard to concentrate on my movie. Finally i ran to the bathroom and threw out every single thing i had eaten, simultaneously using the toilet. Spending approximately #30 minutes in the bathroom, the episodes were over, gosh i felt drained and weak.

Thanking God i took a clean shower again and took 2 tablets of Immodium. what a night..........

CONTRACEPTIVES.....

Most people hate the small talks about contraceptives, well i hate to burst your bubbles but, "we cant hide from these things".

Sex is a very interesting topic, but more interesting when there are no complications to it and the regular "oh had i known" thoughts wont have to be an issue with contraceptives...

Prevention is always better than cure......

IMOLE

The thoughts of you brings tears down my cheeks!
I blush with pain.
Its so amazing how you held my hands when i felt so alone,
words cant express how i feel.
You were my sunshine,
my knight in shinny armour,

my 1 big hero,

You never brought me sorrow.
Helped my baby feet take those fragile steps.
I was never afraid to fall 'cos i knew u were right there beside me.
I never got to tell you this when you were around but now i wish i did!
I LOVE YOU IMOLE
ln your loving and warm memories............

N.B IMOLE means light and special thanks to Henry (the4eyedmonk) for his help in publishing this poem and teaching me how to blog.

THE GREAT LOSS........

"Affliction shall not rise a second time" says the lord.

It was about 6am on saturday the 16th of may 2004, my phone was ringing so loud i had to get up, it was my mum and i was wondering why she was calling me that early. i picked up my phone and said "good morning mum" she replied in a troubled tone and said "good morning baby, sorry i had to wake you up but this is really important and i want you to listen carefully" i sat up immediately and i said "mummy, is there a problem? is everything alright?" "i just had a terrible dream about your brothers that one of them had a bandage around his head and his right tigh."

Now, at this point i was worried because my mum is a prayer warrior and i had known with time that her dreams were to be taken very seriously. she continued saying "please tell them not to get into any fight with anyone pls, i am going to be at uncle dele's wedding but i'll fast and pray allday today for them. Please get this message accross to them as soon as you can. i love you baby" and i replied saying "i love you too mum and il call them right away."

I got up immediately after my mum's call and dailed my younger brother's phone and my elder brother picked it up and i narrated mum's call and told him to pass the message on to our younger brother. He was also worried because we always took dreams from my mum very seriously. He had just finished his 3rd year in medical school and the results were out.

The next day, which was a sunday morning, my brothers went to church (BLW in igbinedion university) and came back to their hostel at about 11am. Marvin Solomon, a friend of ours from lagos who also attended igbinedion university had just arrived from lagos with a car hire from 1004 estates where he lived and the taxi was to return to lagos immediately so my elder brother decided to take the free ride home with his excellent results in his 2nd MBBS.

They had driven out of the school gate towards the community bank in okada (1minute from the school gate) when a mechanic was test driving a car and ran into their car. The school hospital was just 2 minutes away and people around the area immediately rushed my brother to the hospital as the doctors said "he needs to be referred to UBTH immediately because he has a head injury and his right femur has been fractured, he is also comatosed so pls wait for the ambulance". At this point, my younger brother was already with him, he called me asap to give me a feed back on the true situation as i was not with them but in lagos to collect fresh orders of the "GLITZ" magazine i did weekend jobs with.

My mum called me "Ojia, please head back to school right away to see what exactly is going on please" and at this point, pandemonium was an understatement for what i truly felt. Andrenaline pumped through my system like oxygenated blood. The ambulance had still not arrived and we had to move my brother to the teaching hospital in Ugbowo Benin. I literarilly ran to Edegbe line to meet with the last bus but they had closed, so did eagle line and delta line because it was a sunday evening already. the ambulance never came BTW (by the way) and my younger brother Irawo had to get my elder brother Imole to the teaching hospital with help from Wale Ojo, a 4th year computer science student of the institution who had a car.

Events changed as he got to UBTH as he was placed on oxygen immediately, a colar round his neck and bandages roung his forehead n right femur just as my mum has said in her dream. Irawo spent the night in the ICU with Imole as we spoke on the phone every 20 minutes talking bout his vital signs and if he had woken up from the coma. My parents on the other hand were saying prayers and also calling us for more news on his comatosed state.

The next morning, i got up from my bed, (oh, i didnt get any sleep at all) after saying all the prayers i knew best with all my heart, heading straight to Eagle line in yaba with a collegue of mine called Vivian Gilbert (now Mrs Vivian Kenedy) and just as we were crossing the road Irawo called me and said "Ojia there's no use he is dead" i asked him gently in the calmest voice i could use to check again that it couldnt be. He repeated the same statement with him wailing for the first time in his life. I was in the middle of the road and i started wailing and screaming from my insided and cars just kept going left and right away from me like as if they had just seen a mad black woman in rage.

Vivian dragged me off the road to the car-park as we managed to chatter a 504 station wagon to okada. The jouney was the worst i had ever encountered. We sang worship songs to God as i also question him as to why he could let this be. We got to Okada and i went straight to see irawo and held him with all my heart as we cried in each others arms as he was now my only brother.
We went straight to Benin where my Dad's cousin (An Aglican priest) was awaiting our arrival, lolade Adamson and Bukola Afariogun were with us at this point.

Sleepless in seatle was my case as i had to type out the program for the internment which was to hold the very next day. Finishing the program about 4am that morning i tried to nap for that day would be a day we would have to be strong for.

Uncles and Aunties flew in from lagos that morning with letters from my Dad to be read at the internment, and Imole's final resting place was put together. However, after the burial, a student stood up and said she had something very important to say, we all listened as she said " i am so happy today and i want you all to be happy " at this point, i felt like giving her the beating of a life time but i was compelled to listen as she continued " Imole and i met for the first time yesterday in church and why i am so glad is because he rededicated his life to God yesterday and i was his councellor and we prayed just 30 minutes to his accident and i can proudly tell you that i know he is resting in God's bossom for that is the ultimate." I ran straight to her and gave her a hug and said "thank you."

"He was born on the 18th day of April 1983 and he died in God's bossom on the 17th of May 2004 and was burried on the 18th of may 2004" His name......... Imole Seth Ajileye Adamolekun.

Please i use this opportunity to appeal to the Nigerian Government to please equip all hospitals with constant light, {#Lightupnigeria} and Ambulances and Good doctors for if my brother was given some Rescusitation, he would have survived.
If the ambulance functioned, he would have survived.
If there were no reckless drivers he would have survived.
If there were airbags in the cab, he would have survived.
This could have been anyone's son, brother, and friend.

Stay blessed.......
N.B :This is a true life story