Initially, babies are totally dependent on you and rely on you to meet their every need. Your baby will be happiest if you respond sensitively and can calm him when he is upset. This includes making sure that he is comfortable, not only physically ( warm, clean, fed, and winded ) but also emotionally.
Babies need comfort, reassurance and emotional stability, especially when things don't feel right. You can provide this by cuddling your baby, speaking to him in a gentle voice or singing to him and distracting him from upsets by walking him around and showing him interesting surroundings. Babies need the right level of stimulation: not too much excitement, yet enough stimulation to enable them to learn, and you can work this out by observing, listening and taking your cues from your child.
There is increasing evidence from early infant studies that the patterns of interaction between carer and child can predict behavior at an older age. Parents who overwhelm their babies with demands to 'perfom' in a certain way, talk at them or do things to them in an intrusive way without watching their cues are more likely to have children who avoid instructions from parents in later life, developing attention and behavioral problems. Those who respond sensitively, watching their child and developing a gentle 'to and fro' dialogue at the child's pace, are more likely to be setting the foundations for positive social behavior in a child. Tuning in early to your child's needs will set him up for life. You can make a huge difference by providing this for our baby.
Over time, babies form a deep attachment to their main care givers, but also benefit greatly from having good relationships with other people, such as their grandparents, close family, friends, and other consistent, sensitive carers to whom they can also become strongly attached.
The quality of caring is more important than whether the person is a relative. As long as a baby's main attachment figure returns and she can develop trust that this will happen, she will thrive. If, however, your baby finds that most of the time you reject her when she needs you most, that you are unable to soothe her or that you are too exhausted to enjoy her, she will develop an insecure attachment to you.
She may show this by being overly anxious and clingy (wanting to be near you all the time), being upset rather than pleased when she sees you after a separation, or even avoiding you and appearing to be independent without needing you.
If you are not the main carer, it may be difficult for you if your child seems to prefer the nanny or grandparent to you. However, if you have to work, as long as your child gets good day care, and you spend some quality time with her everyday and you take time to look after yourself too, your child will become attached to you, and will benefit in the longer term from the role model that you provide as a working parent.
Normal emotional development and behavior in Children.
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