This piece was sent to me by Col. Dr Adamolekun O.S.B, a consultant Orthopedic surgeon in Sudan. I learnt a lot from this piece and thought to share. (oh, by the way he's my dad)
THE UNWANTED CHILD
The unwanted child is a child whose pregnancy, delivery or continued existence is not welcomed by one or both of the parents. Though the pregnancy may be planned, on many occasions it is by accident. This social category of children is in a class of its own, and so requires a more detailed attention. This is because unlike the accepted child, they lack parental love. The life history of the unwanted child is unfortunately usually turbulent, and on many occasions plagued with an unpleasant and sad outcome.
The rejection of an unwanted child is particularly grave if both parents and families are involved in the rejection. The effect is particularly profound on the baby because he is defenceless and cannot speak.
A married man was involved in an amorous relationship with his cousin. She became pregnant. Out of ignorance and infatuation, she withdrew to a distant relation with the pregnancy. The pregnancy soon became obvious, and her relation sent her back to her parents. The cat was let out of the bag. Neither the man nor the girl wanted the innocent child. The family even rejected both of them. It was no surprise that the corpse of the poor day old child was recovered in a pit latrine.
The effect of rejection is usually less marked if only one parent or family is involved. However, the risk on the defenceless child is more significant if the mother is the one rejecting him.
A woman once ‘misplaced’ her child when she went to park for recreation. The father and the other members of the family embarked on an immediate search for the baby. He was seen. The same evening, the child ‘accidentally’ fell into a septic tank seat. He was rescued but had to be admitted into the hospital. The father of the child was aware of the mother’s lack of acceptance of the child, but did not disclose it. The child finally died when the mother ‘mistakenly’ gave overdose of drug. Thirty times more than the required dose! The mother had to confess because she could not contain the guilt.
The disastrous effect of rejection is definite, but less imposing on the child if the unreceptive parent is the father. This is because the receptive mother who notices this tendency, usually becomes more protective over the child.
A woman once had a precious pregnancy for a man whose goal was to have a male child. She delivered a baby girl. As soon as the man was told about the delivery, he requested to know the sex of the baby. The realization that the baby was female, contrary to a divinity, put him off. He rejected both child and mother. The mother on the other hand, embraced her lone, long sought, precious baby. It is very sad that in this environment, the sex of the child still influences the reception given to a baby delivered into the family. It is even sadder to note that some women also behave in this way, while many simply imitates this act of ignorance.
A woman had her ninth delivery of a female child. She burst into tears on realizing that she delivered a female child. The baby like the previous ones was simply unwanted on account of her sex. She absconded, ‘dashing’ the baby to the hospital.
To be continued.......... tonight.
A Bonus poem.......
LET ME LIVE, PLEASE!!!
Do not throw me away like a refuse;
For I am your child, not an abuse
Do not kill me to hide your shame.
Given a choice, to you I won't come
But now that with you I find me;
Do not destroy me,
I am helpless, but I'll be grateful
If you teach me to be helpful
I remain useless, unless
You teach me usefulness
My life is given to you for lease
I from your evil plan release
Spare my life,
I am a result of your error;
Consanguinity and infidelity,
Ignorance of sex and family education,
Punishment for promiscuity and societal laxity,
Sorrow caused by your ill action.
I should be worried not you;
No shame in delivery,
A well spent time would heal the wound.
Swallow your disaffection and spare me
You were loved, love me;
You were saved, spare me.
You were not thrown away,
Why should you annihilate me?
Eliminating me would worsen your sorrow.
Am even afraid to blame you,
'Cause my life is at stake
Now I need your help
Do not get rid of me,
No pride lost if you seek help;
Round the corner is a waiting help.
I am your blood and fountain;
I would your flavour remain,
If you do not strangulate me
A policeman is waiting at home
Be my mother; do not murder me,
I love to be loved,
Do not reject me;
Uncles and aunts, love me
Brothers and sisters help and spare me;
Come to my rescue; everybody!
Heed my plea for mercy.
Let me survive and mend,
My already dented image;