Tuesday, April 16, 2013
THE PREGNANT VIRGIN
My school mother, Dr Omas who was doing her housemanship at the time had re-called a story to me, then in my fourth year, she had made clinical year absorbable and easy for me as she handed down her methods to me and believe me, they worked.
This particular story was one hell of a fascinator to me and i am almost convinced it will teach you something or more.
As an MS (medical student) you had access to alot of work but you are always supervised even when you become an HO (House officer), you now become the official house doctor and just like house girls or house boys, you are literarily the errand person, the clean up after person and sometimes the cause of all the problems in Africa.
A patient was brought to the clinic and she had the privilege of clerking first of course before presenting to the medical officer for review. The girls mother was right outside the clinic waiting restlessly to find out what the doctor would say.
Seventeen years, female, pale, generalised body weakness, almost cold as ice she exclaimed, and she asked her patient "when was your last menstrual period?" and the patient responded with all the energy she could muster " i am not pregnant we didn't have sex, we just did fore play" taken aback, she asked her patient "when did this foreplay take place?" "three weeks ago " she responded. "ok we will do a quick pregnancy test first just so we can rule it out" hysterical, sweating all over this time her patient responded repeatedly whispering " ah doctor, my mother will kill me, there must be a mistake i am still a virgin he did not put his thing in my thing he just rubbed it around me and he came. there has to be a mistake"
At this point Doctor sends for her mother and requests an emergency ultrasound scan and of course a pregnancy test. Results came back to the clinic in almost no time and showed pregnancy to be positive "lobatan oh, ahhhh omo yi ti pa mi o" the mother yells " omo ale, o ti pami o, who did this to you" at this point after some few slaps and the doctor's intervention the following dialogue took place.
Doctor: madam please calm down, this rage will change nothing please let us reason out together and first find out how it happened and who is responsible.
Mother: Doctor, no problem oh, i am so busy everyday getting their school fees in order and this girl has killed me. she is always by my side so what time did she know man? i brought her up well o but she has brought shame to my family ahhh oma se o
Patient: (sobbing seriously at this point) i swear i am still a virgin i have never had sex before
Mother: shut that mouth of yours you can still lie? this result says six weeks pregnant mogbe and you are still lying? ahhhhhh you have killed me
Doctor: (at this point has had enough of the noise) ok madam, its simple, i will do a vaginal examination now just to check if her hymen is still intact so we can rule that out just for clarity
Mother: Hmmn doctor please don't disturb yourself she will tell me what happened when we get home.
Doctor: (now doing a thorough abdominal examination and discovers the hymen is still 100 percent intact laughs out loud in utter disbelief and informs the mother right away) madam, the hymen of your daughter is still intact oh.
Doctor: All it takes is a drop, there are millions of sperm racing through 1 drop of semen what are the odds?
At this point her mother was even more annoyed that the hymen was intact but she still manage to get herself pregnant, odes of badluck she called it. The boy was informed and you can only imagine how ridiculous it sounded that he was responsible for a pregnancy, when he never had any form of penetration with this girl.
Her mother insisted she enrolled for antenatal and in four weeks she was the first pregnant virgin to enroll for antenatal during her entire stay in that hospital.
There you go, i don't know how she resolved it with her boyfriend. PS: this is a true story.... wink ..