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Thursday, October 3, 2013

Laughter is the Best Medicine E12

Chuck Norris.....

Chuck Norris won't ever experience a heart attack - the heart is not that foolish to attack him.
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.

Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.

When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed 

When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.

How many push ups Chuck Norris does? -All of them!

Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he eats bees.

Chuck Norris does not open the door, just handle bend down before him.

Chuck Norris does not open the door, just handle bend down before him.

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he actually pushes the Earth from him.

They say that the tears of Chuck Norris cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

The only time when Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.

God wanted to create the Earth in 10 days, but Chuck Norris gave him only 7.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris is dead for 10 years know, but death is afraid to tell him his.

Jesus knows how to walk over the water, while Chuck Norris knows how to swim 

When Chuck Norris comes into the room, he does not turn on the light - he turns off the darkness.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of  failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Why doesn't Chuck Norris use condoms? He does not like the smell of burning gum.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why Curiosity finds no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

Chuck Norris never use a watch - he decides what time it is now.

Chuck Norris speaks in capital letters.

Chuck Norris was almost elected to parlament, even he hasn't participated in the  election.

Chuck Norris is a legendary American actor, who became especially popular from the TV series Walker, Texas Ranger. Here he played the starring role of always-right and unbeatable Sheriff. His role spinned off whole bunch of funny jokes on his unbeatability. Chuck Norris is undoubtedly the strongest human being in the world, not only stronger than any man, but even the world itself.

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