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Thursday, February 12, 2015

Midnight Series- In Love With Two People At The Same Damn Time (EXPLICIT R18)

What does it mean to be in love? No one can tell you how strongly you feel about another person, regardless if your emotions are authentic or fleeting. Your love is measured by your heart, but as those who have lived through high school know, the heart lies like a rug. I remember playing the video game Double Dragon when I was barely old enough to see over the arcade sticks. For years, I thought it was one of the best games of all time. Then I played Street Fighter II and it became the new #1. Still, I would think fondly of Double Dragon (the arcade version not the shitty NES one) until I saw an old machine years later. I put a quarter in, played a turn, and then realized that it was complete shit. It wasn’t that it was dated, Punch Out and Zelda are dated, but I can play those for hours. I was so overwhelmed by the hype and excitement back in the day that I made Double Dragon greater than it ever was. When you’re young and you fall in love with a girl you think she’s the best girl you’ve ever met. She’s not like those other chicks, you get butterflies, want to call her all the time, and you want more than sex–  you need her. Of course, after you get to know her ass, the boredom sets in or the drama cranks up, you get disinterested  and suddenly those fireworks aren’t even firecrackers. Were you in love and fell out of love? Was it love to begin with? Can authentic feelings dry up that quickly or was it the heart playing tricks because it was excited?  I’ve told every girl that has been my girlfriend (and a
few side ones), that I loved them. A good three of those times I meant it… or so I thought. I’ve been in deep like, heavy lust, Pussy whipped, and had crazy crushes, but I was never truly in love back then. Not until I fell for the woman who I would later marry, was I able to look back at the other women and think, “Holy shit, she was Double Dragon“.

Even before Breezy, RiRi, and Karrueche, I was being bombarded with, “can a person be in love with two people at the same time?” 99% of these questions were from women, and unlike men who get infatuated with a side hoe or smitten with his mistress, these ladies told me some deep things that proved they were really torn emotionally, not just caught up sexually. You can love two people romantically, I’ve overlapped a few times, but people always have a favorite. It’s like kids, you can claim that your love is equal and push the evil thoughts of bias from your head, but every parent knows deep down there is a favorite. It’s easy to have love for a person you connect with even if there is no romance or sex involved. Once you add just one of those ingredients, you’re off and running, and there is no stopping that train. Remember love and being in love are similar yet very different levels of feeling, but they’re so damn close that trying to sort it out can be more confusing than Canadian Football rules. A woman or man can be in love with two other people, but I guarantee one will be revealed to be Double Dragon in the end. The challenge comes when you’re in the trenches and don’t have the benefit of retrospect. One person makes you feel like you’re on drugs, but that other person is someone you can see having a house on the hill with. How do you decide between two perfect loves, knowing that if you fuck up, you can’t circle back? Few people are desperate enough to let you break up in pencil, if you choose another person over them, you do it in ink, and that shit is permanent. The mindset of the YOLO generation seems to be playing both sides until it all comes crashing down. That makes as much sense as waiting until you get HIV to start using condoms. You’re not invincible, but you can be mature. Make a choice or risk losing both of them.

Real Love Doesn’t Leave Time

First off, if you’re so in love how are you finding time to fall in love again? Let’s say you have more time on your hands than the average person, I still don’t see where you find the time and energy to build that kind of heavy relationship. Creeping away to fuck someone else in a hotel, that’s not very time consuming. Sex affairs involve sporadic flirting, maybe a few casual visits, but it mostly boils down to a few hours a week making headboard music. For you to be falling head over heels for that new person that means you are putting in a lot of work, sharing a lot of information, and being more affectionate than lunchtime quickies. I guess the other person you are supposedly in love with isn’t around or dumb as hell. If the other love is an old friend who you already knew, then I understand that. Friendships turn a corner and get deep if there is an unsaid or unsettled attraction. If your other love is long distance or just some weirdo you found on the computer and will never see, then I understand. You spend more time on your own than talking to them on the phone. 

Nevertheless, it still says something about how you actually feel about that other person. If you let Vince, the crush from middle school, get your number off Facebook and then begin to talk to him about old times knowing damn well that crush never expired, you know what you’re doing. You and Vince aren’t going to organize a middle school reunion, you’re going to fuck if he plays his cards right. Let’s say you meet a nice guy while out, you know you have a boo in college across the country, but you still give Club boy your number. Be serious, girls don’t make it a habit of giving their real numbers to unattractive men who look like they would make good Thunder Buddies. If you’re leaving a club and get approached, you gave him that number because you think he’s cute, not platonic friend material. You can play the boyfriend card, but once you lock his number in your phone why would he respect it? You gave him the yellow light, and any man up on game that gets the number of a chick with a dude, knows how to get through that yellow light before it hits red. Would someone in love go there or would they respect their relationship? The fact that you let it snowball to the point where you’re dropping the L world speaks to an emotional hole you were trying to fill. I don’t want to hear bullshit like, I gave Vince my number because I didn’t want to be rude or I gave Club boy my info because I don’t like to be mean. Being in love makes you mean as hell, void of fucks, and dedicated to giving out fake numbers. If it’s just lovelove, then fuck it, game on, what they know won’t hurt them, go for the ride and see what happens. That’s the kind of love you really have, and that’s how you wake up two months later torn between Vince’s dick and dimples and your boyfriend’s tongue and treatment.

Something’s Missing

Girls are crying about no attention and wack sex, the guys are crying about weight gain and no support. If it’s gotten that bad, try leaving before bringing someone else in to make you feel loved. Being in love comes with bumps in the road, but not blocks, if the negatives pile too high you two aren’t in love with each other you’re just in love with the idea of saying you’re in love. Whatever. the damage is done, you gave in to temptation and now you don’t know how to make a choice or even if you should. The loyalty isn’t always to the first boyfriend; you slid off under his watch, so clearly he wasn’t handling his business.This one girl told me she was confused because her side guy gave her a rush, but her boyfriend was great, handsome, good in bed, easy to talk to blah blah blah. If he’s so awesome then why are you sharing his pussy? She admitted that she had trust issues due to some old BBMs (I swear the only people who still use BBM are agents and people looking to creep), and although she didn’t think he cheated, she felt insecure. That little bit of doubt left room for a friend of a friend to slide right in. That’s the thing, everyone has doubts, everyone gets mad, but there is a big difference between putting your man on punishment and sneaking off to your car to phone bone another dude. Throw on your freakum dress and grind on something, but if you’re in love, that guy shouldn’t be able to get your freakum dress off. 

Maybe you were in love with that person at one point, but they did something to make you fall out of love—then that’s not being in love with two people, that’s being a Bottom Bitch to one guy and a jumpoff to the other. Get ya life. If you don’t love him like you used to, you’re not in a triangle, you’re in a circle- bounce bitch. The first boyfriend is usually the one who is no longer the favorite. Although he may not have wronged or hurt you, he still failed at his job. He lost your attention, lost your heart, and revealed himself as Double Dragon. However, it is possible for the new love to be the least favorite too. A ratchet who has a Goon boyfriend and a Business Guy side, may love the new world her sidepiece is showing her, but her loyalty for that Goon will probably keep her in the world of Kush, Taco Bell, and bail money. “The devil you know” excuse keeps people tied down and unfulfilled. When it comes to men, new pussy rarely outranks the old. Once her coochie expires and niggas see that she isn’t as stable, nurturing, or submissive as the old love, she stops being the favorite. He may not cut her off, no man running in two vaginas goes back to one willingly, but deep down he knows the first girl is the one he wants to be with. Those who are playing the position of #1 or #2 and actually know about it, stop being toys. Do you know how dumb you look waiting on someone who’s not sure if you’re worth it? You’re not Pepsi or Coke, you are a human being, how the fuck can a person be that uncertain about you if their love is real? Stand your ground and force them to choose or make it simple by removing yourself from the equation ASAP.

DMX Told Y'all

You been eating long enough, stop being greedy! You’re in love with two people… poor little you, life’s not fair wah wah wah. Shut up and be an adult. This isn’t some big universal anomaly where two perfect soul mates appear before you. This is a case of a greedy person who got away with being trifling, and now that the walls are closing in you’re nervous. It’s time to do what you should have done as soon as you felt less than fulfilled in your initial relationship—make a choice. The proper, unselfish way out would have been to break up with your boyfriend the moment you were pulled in the opposite direction. That tug at the heart that made you tingle the first time you saw that new person smile at you was your brain telling you, “my bad, that other one wasn’t true love, we want this now“. That was the sign, but your greedy ass drowned it out and decided to burn the candle at both ends– YOLO. If you couldn’t bear to break up, you should have stuck it out with your love, talked about the things that were putting cracks in your relationship, and then tried to seal those holes. One of the things being in love does that just loving someone doesn’t, is that it forces you to take the hard road instead of the easy one. All is fair in love, and occasionally you have to hurt someone’s feelings in order to do what’s best for you. It’s time for men and women both to take responsibilities for their actions and stop overlapping relationships. 

You’re not unique; it’s possible for everyone to love someone else despite who they are committed to. There is a reason why we all don’t walk away around proposing to everyone we connect with. Love is limitless, but you can only be truly in love with one person. Force yourself to make that choice as if you were in a lifeboat with room for one more, and both of your boos are drowning, I guarantee you know who dies and who lives. Chris Brown loves Karrueche, but he’s in love with Rihanna because she’s the one who got away, the one he still wanted to be with, and the one who if he could turn back time he would un-hyper combo and be with. Your situation could be a case of trying to mix and match people because neither one of them are strong enough to complete you.  Maybe you’re not in love with either and you’re trying to wait for that moment where one outdoes the other. In that case, get rid of both of them. If no one is separating from the pack, then that’s all the proof you need that your feelings aren’t authentic. Real love doesn’t wait to reveal itself, it may take long to arrive on the scene, but when it does, there will be no confusion. The longer you fuck around with them you will fuck around and miss the real love of your life.